Friday, June 15, 2012

Would You Talk Abuse Over a Cup of Coffee?

Specifically, would you declare yourself as an "abused" person to someone you have not known?

For a start, don't... Not in public, not in school, not in any place where no one really knows you.

No matter how you vouch for abuse or try to explain your points of view, someone may always look at you as if there is something wrong with you. It is quite a natural feeling, so don't misunderstand and the reason why someone would tell you, "that's just human nature."

I feel the human mind simply self-replicates the most unimaginable depending on what's been told to them, and when someone knows you are "different" because of having been exposed to some unfortunate experience, well that opens a new avenue of thought and a set of presuppositions that separates you from the so-called "normal" group. You might actually lose a nice friend in the process being that trigger happy to be honest. So, don't.

You see, the problem is there is this negative psychological attachment to the word "abuse" as not being a nice word at all. And you might ask, "why ever?" I am just being honest about myself etc etc etc. Well, being honest is one thing but being downright honest to someone who knows next to nothing about you, exposes you as the speculative object of interest for many who don't know you. People may create ideas about who you are not and then decide how they will look at you. That is a big no-no!

You don't tell about that dark side of yourself to someone you also know nothing about.

Somehow, not everyone is equipped to deal with it socially and mentally. Most of us may have been raised by good parents and that's just the first step of life - being exposed to parents who love and care for you and as you are guided to the larger spectrum of the populace which will eventually include your relatives and then your friends etc., you expose yourself to people from all walks of life. With good guidance most often steered by wonderful parents at the helm, it is most likely a growing child may not be exposed to abuse. However, somewhere in that walk of life, you will meet someone who will be abusive - this can happen in the office, on the streets, in the store or some place as unexpected as a hospital.  You may see someone on the street who slaps his child, an appalling situation you have never been exposed to by your own parents or you may see lots of abuse on TV as you grow and that eventually culminates in you that other people do go through abuse and are not so fortunate....

Living abuse is not a pleasant affair but if you are one of the unfortunate few as I have been, there are other ways of working around it.Think about life in a more positive way. Be around happy people. Keep a journal and learn about the mistakes and how you can correct them going forward. Remember to stay clear of abusers and note the types who make good friends and the types who don't. If there is some event that really rips you apart and it hurts you every time you think about it, learn to meditate. Do not dwell on the negatives - they are the bad ingredients for future mishaps but rather think about life with a positive note each step of the way. When you fall, pick yourself up and walk in another direction. Don't get mad. It is not worth your while. Being unhappy is rotten, being angry simply degenerates into a thought process that reaps havoc for you and for all around you.

Life is what we make of it. Everyone has a right to this world just as I have and you have too. What you are, is someone created the way God wills it to be and so, work towards bringing that part of you the world deserves to know. We are all created special in our way.  


It is the demented that preys on the weaker one and never learns. I have been a victim and I know the feeling. It is just unspeakable but then, if I were to wake up each morning feeling the whole world is against me or to remember every tainted part of my life, I'd be submitting to the weaker constitution of my person and that is just not me. Life is so beautiful out there - as I learn everything about the world, about the flowers that bloom, about the people who live in it and about knowing that I can make a change in my life if I think differently, I wake up knowing that I am the winner and that the better part of myself is still within my grip. That, the abuser will never get!